Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I want to be your penis for a week.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
