if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i dont even know how to be here
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
