the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
