Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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