even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
