Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
