I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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