Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
