my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
the liver wants what the liver wants
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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