...so i touched it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
