just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
