just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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