i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
my liver is dry heaving
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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