why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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