i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
