wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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