fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
