if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
