What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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