Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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