hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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