I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
