I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
