i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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