My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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