I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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