Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
