so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
