he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize