Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i think my cat just said my name.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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