dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
