you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
