I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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