i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
