you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
