it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
