Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
