Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
