I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
