in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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