Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
