You're my little dorito
I'm gonna have a badass scar
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
