My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
