Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Green mimosas i think yes
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
