Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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