I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
