she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
