THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
