i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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