Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
