Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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