I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
