Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
