a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
