what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
