Actions speak louder than pants.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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