I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
